First I would like to tell you a little bit of the background around this idea. The original thought was to compile a cookbook, but to create it differently than all other cookbooks. I found an inspiration-or more accurately- met an inspiration about sixteen years ago. Her name is Sharon Dempster. Our kids attended the same play school when they were three years old and she and I met by chatting about our children. That chat sowed the seeds of a friendship that lasted a lifetime… Sharon’s lifetime to be exact. You see, my best friend had muscular dystrophy. If you were blessed enough to have met her, you would have seen an angelic beauty with blonde hair, sky blue eyes and the warmest smile, all accompanied by a frail-like body. If you were blessed enough to know her you would have seen all that outside beauty but you would have been confronted with a strength and power that I myself cannot even describe. Every goal this seventy pound dynamo set for herself, she achieved. Oh, did I mention that along the way of her journey she had a heart transplant, too many medical issues and hospital stays for even the strongest of human beings, all leading up to a tracheotomy and having to be fed through a feeding tube?! Throughout all of this, her smile never faded and she was always the first person to offer an ear to anyone and everyone else’s problems. She was also a mother who loved her children, Melissa and Michelle, beyond words, the most loyal friend and in 2001 she fell in love and married Rod. She was a woman who lived her life on her own terms.
As I said at the beginning of this letter, this idea was thought of many years ago. What I would like to accomplish, is a cookbook that reflects the insurmountable strengths of people like my friend Sharon- who literally laughed in the face of danger. She taught everyone who knew her that you have to grab onto the ride of life and ride it while hanging on with everything you’ve got. I am ashamed to say that I have not always followed my friend’s advice- especially as of lately. I feel that now is the time to get back on the ride. This cookbook- which will be dedicated lovingly to my friend Sharon- will have the philosophy and hopefully the same name… “Eat Your Dessert First.”
I would so greatly appreciate our heroes to be the authors of this cookbook. Any one who has or had been challenged by the unfairness of sickness. Whether it be a family member, a friend, a mentor or a lover. It would be a great tribute to hear your story or the story of someone you know or of someone you knew and include their favourite dessert recipe with a picture if possible. I would be honoured to compile these stories and recipes and put together a heart warming cookbook to honour our heroes. I will do everything in my power to get this gem published. If this were to happen, I would like to have fifty percent of the books revenue donated to the causes and foundations represented in this cookbook. My initial goal is to collect fifty recipes and go from there- this would possibly just be volume one! I thank everyone who has taken the time to read this and participate. Though it is so difficult not to feel sorry for ourselves as we encounter so many challenges, difficulties and painful experiences, let us try to honour our heroes by eating our dessert first.
Please send all stories, recipes and pictures of the dessert to my e-mail.
My e-mail is: susanlipkus@hotmail.com
Any recipe that is not your own creation must include the source where it came from and include the author.
Don’t forget to take a picture of your beautiful dessert!
Thank you for giving us all the opportunity to share our loved one’s stories with the world.
Sincerely,
Susan Lipkus
Enclosed is a letter that Sharon wrote in 2001.
Sharon's Story
While some people may feel sorry for the way I am or that I’m strong to endure, I cant feel that way. I’ve always had muscular dystrophy, it’s part of who I am. I can be frustrated by a particular situation or event, but I can’t imagine myself with normal muscles. In comparison to my divorce with all it’s feelings of failure and uncertainty, my muscle disorder seems to pale, and those challenges seem to be downright inconsequential in the light of finding myself in heart failure raising two very young children on my own. Nothing, absolutely nothing, compares to heart failure, and transplant surgery as a means of testing your stamina, your determination, and your reason to live.
It is two days before Christmas and this particular morning I am taking my children for the first time to one of my many heart transplant clinics. They’ve never been before; I’ve tried to shield them from this. I have been waiting for a heart for nearly a year, and lately I have been feeling that I might not make it to transplant. I feel my body is slipping fast now and each day brings things further down. So today I plan, methodically plan, to bring my kids to my heart clinic. I need the doctors and nurses to see my kids; to realize they are not a notation in my chart, but flesh and blood and so very young. They are real and we exist as a family. The heart is for all of us. And so today they come with me, all dressed up and primped with hair ribbons. Oh, the staff ooh and aah.
At 10:00 p.m. that night, the kids are laying down but so wired and not even close to sleeping. All night the phone won’t stop ringing and in exasperation I think “let the answering machine take it”. Then we hear my mother’s voice calling me to pick up the phone now!! My eldest hands me the phone and my mother says “They’ve got you a heart, Sharon.” I hop up and tell the girls the good news and they are ecstatic. “It’s because we were so good this morning, isn’t it?” they ask. Almost immediately we realize I won’t be home for Christmas. This is it! Surgery! Then the floodgate of tears, worry and fears open. I can’t go to the hospital like this. I can’t go to surgery with the girls sobbing as my last memory. “Run down and bring up some presents” I said and the flames are doused. Instead of packing for the hospital, my bedroom is a sea of wrapping paper and Spice Girls posters and craft kits. I can do surgery now.
Hospital seemed endless. Recovery; an incredibly drawn process, was overwhelming. While it took months to garner a semblance of normalcy back to our lives, I surprised myself at my own strength. This heart, this incredible gift, was a “Cadillac” heart and was truly my second chance at life. Having lived the last four years of my life on the “plan only the day you are on” basis, I could truly look forward to tomorrows. I have met a wonderful sweet man, untouched by the jadedness of life. Now the four of us are a family. I still have to consciously make my muscles work and they don’t always listen. The biggest part of the struggle seems over for now and my hopes for better days come to the surface once again.
The beginning.
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Sharon’s Famous Recipe For
CHOCOLATE BRANDY MOUSSE
5 or 6 oz of chocolate (dark, unsweetened or semisweet)
1-2 tbsp of brandy (Grand Marnier)
4 egg yolks
4 egg whites
1 cup whipping cream
Chop chocolate and melt in a double boiler. Remove from heat and cool a little. Slowly add brandy and egg yolks. Beat until smooth and thick. Whip cream. Beat egg whites until soft peaks are formed. Fold egg whites into chocolate. Refrigerate until firm. When serving, put a dollop of cream and grated chocolate on top. YUM!!
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I would like to share with you, some of the heartfelt stories and recipes from our dedicated contributors:
"This Pecan Pie is a tribute to three women in my life who allow me to reflect on Christmas and Thanksgiving and Family
First, my Mother who was a great cook and took special care when making pies at Christmas. My earliest memories of her pies were apple, lemon meringue and pumpkin. I am sure she cooked more than those 3 pies types, but the memory of pies linger. I will miss her forever.
Second my sister, Ann, who was equally a great cook and took special care when making pecan pies because it was her husband (Don Hafso), and I who devoured the majority of all pecan pies ever made by her. Ann passed away in January, 2011 at the young age of 52 years old and pecan pies remind me of her. I dearly miss her.
Finally, my wife Gwen is equally a great cook and she knows that pecan pies are a staple in the history of our family gatherings and as such we can always count on this pie on the table at special occasions. Vanilla ice cream makes its way onto the pie with each special piece. "
- Nolan Crouse, Mayor of Saint Albert
Caramel Pecan Pie
Pastry for 1-crust 9-inch pie
36 KRAFT Caramels
¼ cup Parkay Margarine
¼ cup water
¾ cup sugar
3 eggs, beaten
½ teaspoon vanilla
½ teaspoon salt
1 cup pecan halves
On lightly floured surface, roll pastry to 12-inch circle. Place in 9-inch pie plate. Turn under edge; flute. Melt caramels and margarine with water in heavy sauce-pan over low heat, stirring frequently until smooth. Gradually add to combined sugar, eggs, vanilla and salt; mix well. Stir in pecans; pour into pastry shell. Bake at 350 degrees, 45-50 minutes or until pastry is golden brown. Cool. (Filling appears soft, but will firm as it cools).
Variation: substitute cashews, chopped walnuts or peanuts for pecan halves
8 servings
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"I remember standing in a Wal-Mart dressing room, trying on a pair of pants that didn’t quite fit. I stood in front of the mirror pinching my stomach and crying. I was six years old.
I grew up in a home where the ‘F’ word was ‘fat.’ My mother tried to raise me to love myself by never allowing me to go one day without being told I was loved. She always told me I was beautiful and special. Unfortunately, we live in the kind of world where no matter how many compliments you receive, you will always hold onto the negative comments and take those to heart.
Growing up, I had a small group of friends. I was raised to treat others how you want to be treated so I was always friendly despite being quite shy. The kindness was not exactly reciprocated. I was bullied through some of elementary school, all of middle school and through various classes in high school. I have never been the kind of person to stand up for myself, so I was used as a vulnerable target. My classmates told me that no one liked me and that I was a loser but most of the bullying was regarding my weight and overall appearance. I began to believe every word that they said. So much, that I felt completely worthless.
As I grew up I yo-yo dieted. I’d lose a few pounds here and there but then gain it back. When I was sixteen years old, I was determined to eat right, exercise and lose weight. I wanted to be happy with myself for the first time in my life. I truly believed that if I lost weight, I’d be happy. Turns out, happiness isn’t determined by the number on the scale.
What started off as healthy eating slowly morphed into severe calorie restriction and over-exercising. During the summer of 2010, I isolated myself completely from my friends. I lost all interest in going out. I just wanted to be left alone to work out excessively and starve. My mind was changing and I started to feel like I was trapped in a dark hole.
After losing almost fifty pounds in a few months, I became very sick and underweight. One night, my mother and I went for a long drive and she confronted me about my eating habits. I knew at this point that it was time to seek help. I no longer had any control over my weight loss and eating habits. I couldn’t allow myself to eat more than a piece of fruit once a day. No matter how ill I felt, no matter how much hair was falling out of my head, no matter how shaky I felt on a daily basis; I couldn’t eat. A monster called Anorexia Nervosa had taken over. During my mother’s confrontation, I became determined to attempt recovery. It took me almost a year to eat in a restaurant and facing my fears of certain foods caused anxiety. No matter how sick and frail I looked, I knew I would never be thin enough.
After restoring weight and becoming a lot more mentally and physically healthy, I finally had my life back…For the most part.
Since then, I have had a few relapses. My weight goes up and down but I am so much happier and healthier than I was three years ago. I have learned that my life is worth something. I am worth something. I am learning to love myself for the first time in my life. It’s not an easy process. The illness will never disappear but I am so proud of the progress I have made.
I have my good days and my bad days but I finally found my smile again.
Included is a chocolate cake recipe with the gooiest and fudgiest icing you could imagine that I have baked multiple times. The reason I have chosen to include this recipe is because this was the first indulgence I allowed myself to have after becoming anorexic. It was the first treat I had eaten in almost a year. Although I only allowed myself a tiny bite of this cake on the end of a spoon, it helped me prove to myself that I could enjoy life again and that recovery is possible. "
- Rebecca Sapiano, daughter of Susan Lipkus
Four Corners Chocolate Cake
By: Kitchen for Kids
- Jennifer Low
Ingredients:
1 ¼ cups all purpose flour
1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 ½ tsp baking soda
1/8 tsp salt
1 cup + 1 tbsp white sugar
½ cup unsalted butter, soft
1 large egg
1 cup milk
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp white vinegar
1. Preheat oven to 350F
2. Grease and line 8x8 inch baking pan with parchment paper (I just grease the pan)
3. Sift flour, cocoa powder, baking soda and salt into a bowl and mix
4. In another bowl, use a baking spatula or wooden spoon to cream together the sugar and butter. Use a whisk to stir in the egg, milk and vanilla. Don’t worry if it’s a little lumpy
5. Still stirring with the whisk, mix in a few spoonfuls of the flour mixture at a time. When the batter is smooth, stir in the vinegar.
6. Scrape the batter into the pan and spread evenly. Bake about 35 minutes, or until a skewer inserted into the middle comes out clean. Cool completely.
*I never sift my ingredients
*I frost the cake before it has cooled to achieve an extremely moist, fudgey icing and cake.
Frosting:
Ingredients:
2 ½ cups icing sugar
2 squares semi sweet chocolate
¼ cup of 35% cream
1/3 cup 35% cream
Sprinkle of salt
Drop of vanilla extract
Sift the icing sugar into a bowl. Set aside.
In a small bowl, heat the squares of chocolate and the ¼ cup of cream at 50% powder in the microwave until the chocolate is melted, stirring halfway. Use a heatproof baking spatula to stir smooth. Mix in the 1/3 cup cream, salt and vanilla until smooth. Scrape into a bigger bowl. Gradually spoon in the icing sugar and stir smooth. Add more icing sugar to thicken or a few drops of cream to thin, if needed.
*I never sifted my icing sugar
*you can also use chocolate chips
*I use whipping cream
*Top with caramel and chocolate sauce
*serve with whipped cream
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The Perfect Apple Cake!
"My mother-in-law, Rachel Pritzker, was a
redhead who loved to sit in the sun. As a teenager who grew up in Israel and
Los Angeles during the 1960s, she sat out for countless hours trying to get the
perfect tan. Today, of course, we know better... but back then nobody saw the
harm in endless sunburns and exposure to ultraviolet rays.
By the time Rachel was in her thirties, she
was living here in Montreal and was already having cancerous (but non
life-threatening) moles removed from her face, arms, chest and legs. In 1998, not
long before I became engaged to her wonderful son, she had a suspicious-looking
lesion removed from her thigh. This time it was not just a basal cell
carcinoma, which she had been dealing with for years, but rather malignant
melanoma -- an aggressive and often fatal form of skin cancer. It had already
metastasized to her lymph nodes. In short, her prognosis was not good.
After undergoing many difficult treatments
and invasive surgery, the outlook was still bleak. As a last hope, Rachel
visited the John Wayne Cancer Institute in Los Angeles to undergo an
experimental treatment protocol. Though the going was tough, she improved
slowly but surely.
Through it all, never once did she
complain, never once did she ask "Why me?" Instead, she asked
"What can I do to help others?" She became active in melanoma support
groups, sharing her experience and the expertise she never wanted, asked for or
deserved with anyone who needed it.
As a
side effect of the surgery that saw the removal of many of the lymph nodes in
her groin, Rachel was left with lymphedema in her leg. This condition -- common
in many melanoma, lymphoma and breast cancer survivors who've had involved nodes
removed -- causes extreme swelling in the adjacent limb. In order to remain
mobile and prevent it ballooning up to twice its normal size, Rachel's leg
remains tightly wrapped and bandaged at all times.
In order to raise awareness about
lymphedema, Rachel founded the Lymphedema Association of Quebec to increase
awareness about this largely unknown and incurable condition which affects the
lives of so many cancer survivors on a daily basis. The LAQ now provides
education, support and awareness to thousands of people, and lobbies the
Canadian government to improve its financial commitment in the search for
treatment and a cure.
Rachel has devoted her life to helping
those in need, whether they be family members, friends or strangers in need.
One of the ways I like to show Rachel how much we all appreciate everything she
does is to bake her favourite cake every once in a while, which always brings a
smile to her face.
It is a sweet and classic cake for a sweet
and classic lady... and it reminds me how lucky I am, my children are, we all
are, to have her in our lives!"
-Jackie Rose, Canadian Author
This is a fool-proof recipe that can be
used throughout the year. For a variation, Italian Plums or even pears can be
substituted.
The
cake:
3 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla
3/4 cup vegetable oil
1
1/2 cups sugar
3 teaspoons baking powder
1/3 cup orange juice
2
1/4 cups flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
The
filling:
7 apples, peeled and sliced thinly
2 teaspoons cinnamon
3/4 cup brown sugar
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
With an electric mixer, beat the sugar,
vanilla and eggs for three minutes. Gradually add in oil and beat until smooth.
Add in orange juice and beat until smooth. Combine baking powder, flour and
salt. Slowly add dry mixture into wet mixture and beat until well incorporated.
Smooth half of batter into bottom of a
greased 9-inch baking pan or pyrex. In a plastic bag, shake apples, cinnamon
and sugar until all the apples are coated with the mixture. Carefully and
evenly place apple mixture into pan and top with the rest of the batter.
Sprinkle some regular or icing sugar on top.
Bake for one hour or until well browned.
